Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Sleeping with a She-Bear

My first day of work left me completely exhausted; I fell into bed at about ten. According to The Boy, he woke me up when he got home to start up some sexy time (as requested) and was met with an angry sleepy bear. We had the following conversation (or something like it):

TB: *kiss kiss kiss*
J: *puts hand over Boy's face*
TB: *kiss kiss kiss*
J: *puts hand back on boy's face and pushes even less than half-heartedly*
TB: Honey? You said you wanted to have The Sex.
J: shhnarggle mmmph
TB: Do you not want to have The Sex?
J: mmmph mrrg
TB: Okay, well I'm going to leave you alone then.
J: nnnoh
TB: What was that?
J: ehhhh shhhed nnnoh

Ten Minutes Later (after many more questions and garbled responses*)

I sat up and swung my feet to the floor, needing (apparently) to pee. I sat there for a minute then slowly tipped sideways until I was laying down again, only now my head was at the wrong end. I then proceeded to snuggle his leg through the covers.**

J: ahhm cohwde
TB: What?
J: cohwde. winnoh opennn.
TB: The window is already open.
J: ahh knnnohh. iss cohwde.
TB: So come back up here and get under the covers.
J: kayyy. haf to pee.

I got up and peed with the door open*** and came back to bed, this time laying the right way. Here's where I start to remember things, although they're a bit fuzzy. I also became more coherent. I believe The Boy had shut the window.

J: It's cold.
TB: I know. Get under the covers.
J: Ugh; hot. Open the window.
TB: But I thought you were cold.
J: Covers hot. Window?

He rolled over to reach for the window.

J: Don't go!
TB: I'm just opening the window.
J: Ohhh kay.

He opened the window (or just opened it more; I'm still not clear on this). He slid down into the covers again and I snuggled up to him.

J: Sexy time? *snore*

It has to be said that I never once opened my eyes during any of this. I remember the later stuff (kind of) and am basing the rest off of what he told me this morning at the butt crack of dawn, which most likely means none of it is accurate (come on, did you see how tired I was last night? can you even imagine me this morning?).

Today I'm not so tired, but Tuesday is his hard (read: impossible) day at work, so I doubt there will be sexy time tonight. My prediction is coming tragically closer and closer to fulfillment. Pity me.

*I think The Boy may have been amusing himself at my expense.
**Allegedly. I don't remember any of this.
***I NEVER do this. I can't even pee in public restrooms if there's someone else in the room. Yes, I know I'm a freak.


Cole said...

Your account of things is close enough for gov't work. Good Job Honey!

-The Boy

LiLu said...

Hahaha! We call it "The Sex" too!