Adventure One or The Time Cole's Truck Got Stolen

The Boy's truck got stolen.

And no, we haven't found it. I was at work when it happened, and he showed up to bring me lunch because it was his day off and because he's the sweetest man alive. I had gotten a text from him that I would never guess what had happened, so when he showed up I was ready with some guesses:

The Boy: Hi honey!
Me: Our neighbors got a Great Dane? The Iranian* women who live downstairs invited us to dinner tomorrow? You met a girl who wants to come home with us?**
TB: Nope. None of those.
Me: What then?
TB: Do you see my truck?
Me: Um... *looks around* no... Where is it?
TB: It got stolen.
Me: What?!

Apparently there's this tow truck that is stealing cars. It's rather ingenious really: the truck tows cars, never from the same place twice, and no one ever questions it because it's a tow truck. But, according to the cops, it's not a legit operation and it's been stealing cars around our area for the last few weeks. And they took my baby's truck. Boo!

So now we're a one-car household and I drive him to his store before going in to work, which is fine, but now our hypothetical wedding fund has become a hypothetical new car fund, and that's just not fun. *Pout*


*Or Pakistani, or Palestinian, or something. I am woefully inept at determining these things.
**What? Shut up.

Sleeping with a She-Bear

My first day of work left me completely exhausted; I fell into bed at about ten. According to The Boy, he woke me up when he got home to start up some sexy time (as requested) and was met with an angry sleepy bear. We had the following conversation (or something like it):

TB: *kiss kiss kiss*
J: *puts hand over Boy's face*
TB: *kiss kiss kiss*
J: *puts hand back on boy's face and pushes even less than half-heartedly*
TB: Honey? You said you wanted to have The Sex.
J: shhnarggle mmmph
TB: Do you not want to have The Sex?
J: mmmph mrrg
TB: Okay, well I'm going to leave you alone then.
J: nnnoh
TB: What was that?
J: ehhhh shhhed nnnoh

Ten Minutes Later (after many more questions and garbled responses*)

I sat up and swung my feet to the floor, needing (apparently) to pee. I sat there for a minute then slowly tipped sideways until I was laying down again, only now my head was at the wrong end. I then proceeded to snuggle his leg through the covers.**

J: ahhm cohwde
TB: What?
J: cohwde. winnoh opennn.
TB: The window is already open.
J: ahh knnnohh. iss cohwde.
TB: So come back up here and get under the covers.
J: kayyy. haf to pee.

I got up and peed with the door open*** and came back to bed, this time laying the right way. Here's where I start to remember things, although they're a bit fuzzy. I also became more coherent. I believe The Boy had shut the window.

J: It's cold.
TB: I know. Get under the covers.
J: Ugh; hot. Open the window.
TB: But I thought you were cold.
J: Covers hot. Window?

He rolled over to reach for the window.

J: Don't go!
TB: I'm just opening the window.
J: Ohhh kay.

He opened the window (or just opened it more; I'm still not clear on this). He slid down into the covers again and I snuggled up to him.

J: Sexy time? *snore*


It has to be said that I never once opened my eyes during any of this. I remember the later stuff (kind of) and am basing the rest off of what he told me this morning at the butt crack of dawn, which most likely means none of it is accurate (come on, did you see how tired I was last night? can you even imagine me this morning?).

Today I'm not so tired, but Tuesday is his hard (read: impossible) day at work, so I doubt there will be sexy time tonight. My prediction is coming tragically closer and closer to fulfillment. Pity me.


*I think The Boy may have been amusing himself at my expense.
**Allegedly. I don't remember any of this.
***I NEVER do this. I can't even pee in public restrooms if there's someone else in the room. Yes, I know I'm a freak.

Bad Dreams

Do you ever have those dreams where to wake up still feeling the same emotions you felt in your dream?

Last night Dream The Boy conspired with Dream Mom to send me back to high school, with my nicotine addicted degenerate of a Dream Sister. (My real sister is actually a goody-goody, and I love her for it. Means I don't have to threaten the boys that want in her pants, because she can do it herself.)

But yeah, they were in cahoots. And I woke up feeling bitter and betrayed. Ick.